Submitted by Steven E Newton (snewton@oac.hsc.uth.tmc.edu)
Salt the water lightly, and add one half stalk of celery. No,
not half a rib. Half an entire stalk and it doesn't hurt to let
a few of the celery leaves get in there.
Now, with nothing in the pot but the celery, bring the water to a
boil for about two minutes, then cut'er back to simmer. This is
important. I discovered it by accident one time. What we have
now is a sort of celery tea. A flavorful liquid base on which to
build our stew.
Next we wash, scrape, and cut up from eight to 12 carrots. Eight
if they're fat carrots. 12 if they 're long and skinny. I love
to scrape carrots with one of those little vegetable peelers,
whatever you call them. A splendid invention.
Now cut in half one medium white onion and add to the pot the
same time you put in the carrots. Don't chop the onion. Leave
the two halves whole. It's too early in the game for chopped
onion. Later.
Next peel two large potatoes and cut into bite-sized chunks.
(Bite sized for an eater with a big mouth.) Deep-peel and cut up
one large turnip. (Deep because you need to get rid of that
outer layer which is bitter and may be a quarter of an inch
thick.) Slice and add one green bell pepper and one red bell
pepper (if you can afford it). Then two jalapenos, halved
longways. Put 'em in seeds and all.
And three cloves of garlic, two smashed and one whole.
Now add a can of whole kernel corn, a can of English peas, and a
can of baby lima beans. And a can of chicken broth, which will
distress my vegetarian friends
Beer and black pepper
You may feel the need for more liquid. Do not put in more water.
Add a warm beer, slowly. Preferably a domestic. I like Shiner.
Add a generous amount of black pepper.
Stir the pot, mixing everything thoroughly. Sing a song. Dance
yourself around the kitchen. Put some of your favorite music on
the stereo. (I don't have stereo here but I can get KIKK on the
radio.)
Try not to put in any more salt, or an additional can of chicken
broth. We want to taste the vegetables. But before the next
step, add about 75 cents worth of dill weed, which sells for
something like 12 bucks per ounce where I bought my groceries.
Crank the heat up to the top peg. Chop a big purple onion and
add to the pot. When you've got a rolling boil, cut back to low
heat again and cover, leaving at least a small port to give off
steam and perfume the premises.
The carrots will tell you when to eat.
I serve this stew to myself with whole grain bread, and I eat
until I'm no longer hungry and it doesn't make me any fatter.
The reason I serve it only to myself is, I've never found anybody
else who ices it. I don't know why.
The last time I made Too Much Vegetable Stew I was here with this
old black Labrador dog and I offered her my leftovers and she
lifted those big sad eyes and said, "Hey, I'm a carnivore,
remember?"